September 28, 2019 0

Tooth Fairy | Lele Pons

Tooth Fairy | Lele Pons


>>TOOTH FAIRY: Every year, people all around the world celebrate magical figures. In December, we celebrate Santa Claus. On Valentines Day, we celebrate Cupid. On Saint Patricks Day, we celebrate a Leprechaun. And during Easter, we celebrate the Easter bunny. And last but not least, there’s one member of the group that no one gives a [BLEEP] about. Me. The Tooth Fairy. Hello. I’m the Tooth Fairy. I’m sick of it! There’s no holiday for me. Even though I work every [BLEEP] day. While the others work, I don’t know, once a year. [BLEEP] I give you money! And you know what, while everybody is celebrating, you know Santa Claus and Cupid and the Easter Bunny, what do I get? Exactly. I don’t give a [BLEEP]. It’s fine. But let me tell you how this all works, okay? First things first, how they lose their teeth. One way, you can either get punched in the face for saying something stupid.>>BOY 1: So why are you talking to my girlfriend?>>BOY 2: She’s hot.>>BOY 1: So now you’re using her?>>BOY 2: Yeah? So what?>>TOOTH FAIRY: Really? She’s hot. Other ones get hit by the ball. While other people eat something hard and break their teeth. You know what, I don’t even know what this guy is doing.>>BOY: A dare is a dare.>>TOOTH FAIRY: I’m sorry, what the [BLEEP]? And, you know, to be honest some days when I’m out of work I do it myself. What? Once they lose their teeth, that’s when I come in. There’s three things that happen during the night. You either deal with the heavy sleepers. I hate my life. Then comes the light sleepers. Go back to bed! Oh and my favorite of all, when my parents come in to take my job. The parents!>>DAD: I can’t believe she still believes in the tooth fairy!>>MOM: What is the tooth fairy?>>DAD: Come on, let’s put a dollar under.>>TOOTH FAIRY: Oh hell no!>>DAD & MOM: What’s happening?>>TOOTH FAIRY: This is my job! This is my job!>>DAD: What is going on? Oh my gosh! Run!>>TOOTH FAIRY: What! Anyway. Oh and my favorite part of the year, the meeting day. This is the day where we all meet together and discuss what we do in life.>>SANTA: He couldn’t find [BLEEP]!>>CUPID: Yo, yo, watch this, watch this watch this. Usually I got good aim.>>TOOTH FAIRY: Okay first of all guys, I’m sorry guys, why am I here and why are you guys there?>>SANTA: This is the lit side. We lit.>>CUPID: We actually do stuff. See we have days of the month.>>SANTA: All the best holidays on this side.>>CUPID: Come one man.>>TOOTH FAIRY: Then why the [BLEEP] am I even here?>>SANTA: Uh, it’s the law?>>TOOTH FAIRY: Well, what about the leprechaun from Saint Patricks Day? He hasn’t been here in years.>>SANTA: Wait, where’s the leprechaun at? He’s probably drunk somewhere still hungover.>>TOOTH FAIRY: You know what, I have movies you know.>>CUPID: You got one movie! You got one movie! And it’s not even played by a woman, it’s played by a guy, it’s played by The Rock.>>TOOTH FAIRY: You don’t even have a beard.>>SANTA: I don’t have a beard? Bam!>>CUPID: Do you even have Twitter? Do you have Twitter?>>TOOTH FAIRY? Twitter?>>CUPID: Do you got a Instagram?>>TOOTH FAIRY: I’ve got Vine!>>CUPID: It died.>>SANTA: Wait, wait. What did you say? What did you say? [LAUGHING]>>TOOTH FAIRY: He didn’t say anything. He didn’t… [LAUGHING]>>TOOTH FAIRY: He didn’t say anything.>>CUPID: Oh wow, wow that’s a good point. Wow.>>TOOTH FAIRY: What is he saying?>>SANTA: The bunny wants to know, where do you get the money from to pay the kids?>>TOOTH FAIRY: Huh?>>SANTA: The money.>>TOOTH FAIRY: Okay, now that you know my life, let’s go to present day. Who is that? Brats!>>BOY 1: I don’t think you’ve noticed, but…>>BOY 2: We’ve been watching you for days.>>BOY 3: Especially me, I was always watching.>>TOOTH FAIRY: So what do you want?>>BOY 3: You forgot to give me my money.>>TOOTH FAIRY: I forgot your… No. Oh yeah…you’re that kid…>>BOY 3: I want my money.>>TOOTH FAIRY: Here. Here. Keep it.>>BOY 3: Woah.>>TOOTH FAIRY: What the [BLEEP]?>>BOY 3: I told you guys she’d give us more money.>>TOOTH FAIRY: You should give me that wand.>>KIDS: Give me money!>>TOOTH FAIRY: Keep it!>>GIRL: Hey! Where did you get all this money from?>>TOOTH FAIRY: You know what happens next. Oh…that’s a very good question. I get my…>>SANTA: Hey Tooth Fairy, I just wanted to apologize about the other day. We’re really sorry. [BUNNY SCREAMING] [LEPRECHAUN SCREAMING]

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